By Roy Kwon
I think I’ve been a pretty good boy this year. I didn’t cause any mischief in my classes, but that’s probably because I wasn’t awake for any of them. It’s the thought that counts right?
For this Christmas I would like to request a girlfriend, preferably one to my liking. Just making sure you don’t forget, I am 5’7, 135 pounds, and in decent shape.
I hope I’m not asking for too much, but I would also like to ask if one of your countless elves can write me an acceptance letter to the University of Michigan. I heard it is a nice place around this time of year. I do hope you seriously consider my wishes. Depending on your answer, the cookies may or may not be poisoned.