By Kevin Pham
For Christmas, I want you to prove to me that you are real. Honestly, this lie that you have created is garbage and everyone can see right through you. Whoever you are, I just wanna know why you are lying to all these kids? What’s your ulterior motive? Are you an international spy? I expect a response in 2-5 business days or I WILL find you and burn your little “Santa’s Workshop” down.
I am just really disappointed in your behavior. How dare you, an old man, fool all the precious children in the world. I hope you suffer. No, I’m serious. I have security cameras in my house and I have NEVER seen you enter through my chimney once.
I am on to you Mr. Claus; if that’s even your real name. You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout because I am out for you.
P.S. How do I know your “workshop” isn’t a sweatshop??!